Girls
by HiddenPortrait
Summary: Poor Yuki only wants to know whats wrong with Tohru....boy is he in for a surpise


Girls.

It was a beautiful day. Not just nice or pleasant but beautiful. Birds were singing, though not enough to be annoying, the sun shined just enough to let warmth and light in the house without being unbearable and the air seemed to tingle with the prospects of a new day. Yuki was even awake and breathing the scent of spring. He first managed to cross paths with Tohru as she walked down the stairs. He noticed something was out of sorts with her, she looked more fragile for some reason. She looked up at him with a half hearted smile. Gently he reached over and pushed a lock of hair from her face. He was about to say something sweet like, 'You are looking after yourself aren't you?' but before he could even finish brushing the hair out of the way she flinched back.

"Don't touch me" she snapped and walked off to the kitchen.

A little concerned Yuki sat at the table. Shigure was leaning back looking at the paper while Kyo was trying to tie his shoe lace (god knows why it was so difficult!). Yuki sat down, frowning and said, as casually as possibly, "did…has Honda said anything to you this morning?"

"not yet…whats troubling you my young ward?" said Shigure regally

Yuki sighed, "nothing"

Soon Tohru came out and put some dishes on the table, she smiled brightly at them, "please enjoy!"

Kyo looked at the soup on the table, "eh….leek soup….?"

Tohru glared and slammed down her plate, "if you don't like it make you own damn breakfast for a change!" she growled then her face broke up and she began to cry, "I'm….I'm so sorry!" she wept and ran from the room. Silence reigned (always wanted to write that! XD). Shigure looked down at his paper, Kyo put a hand behind his head.

"I think we better stay clear for a while" muttered Kyo

"a smart boy kyo a smart boy…."

Yuki looked from one to the other, "huh? What? What's wrong with Tohru?"

Kyo looked away blushing slightly, Shigure leaned back and laughed, "you're not serious?"

Yuki frowned, "what? Somebody tell me whats going on!"

"Kyo?" SHigure offered

"Do I look like his mother?" snapped Kyo.

Yuki looked despretly at them, "I don't understand!"

"it's probably for the best then." Said Shigure wisely

"if you won't tell me then I'll find somebody who will!" said Yuki storming out of the house.

He kept storming, thinking desperately who he could ask. As he passed out of the gate he bumped into Kagura.

"Good Morning Yuki!" she said brightly, "still half asleep?"

"ah…yes I suppose." He stuttered.

She smiled at him, "is my beloved Kyo inside?"

"Yes, he's sitting at the table"

"excellent! I'll surprise him from the back!" her eyes shone and her vehemence was just a little creepy. Yuki was all too happy to let Shigure and Kyo deal with Hurricane Kagura but first

"wait a moment…Kagura I need your help"

"mm? What is it Yuki?" she grinned again.

"It's…well it's Tohru I'm worried about her. Maybe you could find out whats wrong?" he asked

"worried? But why?" her brow creased.

"she's been cating so strangely. She's irritable, moody, she yelled at me over nothing and then cried. Kyo and Shigure know whats going on but Kyo got all embarrassed and Shigure just laughed at me!" he said all at once.

Kagura just looked at him, she bit her lip, a slight blush in her cheeks but looking as though she might laugh any minute, "ah Yuki can't you think of anything?"

"no, I'm really concerned about her."

"are you sure…any _girl_ things?" she stressed.

"um girl things?" he shrugged.

"you know that talk your mother had with you" she said getting pinker.

"but…you know I never really saw my mother" he told her.

"oh…oh dear…nobody ever…um…well…" she sighed, "just accept this is a girl thing and she'll be better in about a week ok?"

"what but…"

"gotta go!" she raced away from him red as a beet.

Yuki sighed, what on earth was Kagura talking about 'girl thing'? He didn't understand why everyone was being so secretive about it all! What could be this bad? What could be this embarrassing? He decided to go ask Haru, after all he and Haru were very good friends and shared a lot. Maybe he would tell Yuki what the hell was going on in his own home!

He slipped ion the secret entrance of the Sohma compound and walked carefully towards HAru's home. However as he walked passed Momiji's little house he was spotted.

"Yuki!" Momiji called out brightly, "why are you here?"

Yuki walked over to the front door where Kisa and Hiro stood, "Hello guys, whatare you all doing?"

"Uh…Momiji is…lending us his new Mogentai DVD" Kisa smiled sweetly.

"how lovely for you" Yu7ki grinned back patting her on the head.

"what are you doing here interrupting us?" drawled Hiro but Momiji shoved him.

"don't be so pompous Hiro!" he giggled, "or you'll never attract all the girls!"

Yuki laughed, "Momiji do you know if Haru is home?"

"yup, Rin I svisiting him" Momiji winked, "but why would y0ou sneek in here just to see him?"

"well…I need to know about 'girl things'" Yuki said frowning

"what?" Momiji's eyes were wide.

"Tohru is acting so strangly and no one will tell me why and Kagura said it was 'girl things', do you know what that means?"

Hiro burst into near hysterical laughter, "oh tyou're not serious? How old are you? You're nearly an adult for goodness sake!"

"huh? You know?"

Momiji tried to cover his giggle, "Hiro…don't…be…rude"

"What is it? Oh please, Hiro?"

"no way!" he continued laughing

"Momiji?"

Momiji shook his head still trying to hide the smirk.

"Kisa?" he looked desperate.

Kisa gasped, eyes wide and covered her mouth.

"Stop messing with me!" growled Yuki.

Momiji leaned close to Hiro and whispered loud enough for all to hear, "maybe Yuki is suffering from it too?" and they both laughed again.

"Fine then!" Yuki stormed away for the third time that day. He was feeling very irritable, after such a great morning too! Finally he made it to Harus house but when he opened the door it seemed Rin and Haru were trying to see who could suck more of each others face off. He coughed abnd they both looked up startled.

"Hi Haru…Rin…." He blushed.

"uh…hiya Yuki…why are you here?" asked Haru a bit dazed (well more then usual!)

"I need to ask you something but you have to promise not to laugh at me" he stuttered and sat down. Rin had truned away scowling they'd been caught.

"it's not a love confession is it?"

Yuki sighed, "Tohru has been acting really out of sorts and everybody seems to know and they're laughing at me and Kagura says it's a 'girl thing'!" he said quickly and sighed.

"oh boy…" Haru leaned back, "do you wanna take this one?" he asked Rin.

"hell no! I'm outta here before I have to hear any more of this!" she stood and took off.

"sorry I ruined your um…private time…" Yuki sighed again, "I'm really confused. Everyone acts as if it's some taboo thing, some big secret or something sordid…"

"well Yuki, who do you know that talks candidly about the most sordid things on earth?" asked Haru.

"more then Shigure?"

"yup"

Yuki sighed even deeper, "you sure you won't tell me"

"not on your life"

"At least come with me" he moaned. Haru just chuckled.

Yuki entered the building apprehensively, Haru just behind him, still smirking.

"uh…hello?"

A bright smiling girl poked her head around a shelf, "oh little brother!"

"Hello Miss Mine, is my…brother here?" Yuki forced a smile.

"yes he is! Follow me! Oh and who is your little friend?" she walked out the back.

Yuki follwed, "a cousin, Hatsuharu Sohma"

"nice to meet you cousin!" she skipped up to Ayame who was bent over a piece of paper, "maitre!"

"not now Mine my dear, this dress isn't working!" he lamented.

"but Maitre your beloved little brother and his adorable cousin have graced us with a visit!"

He looke dup and suddenly embraced Yuki, "oh most loved one of all, what honour do I have so as to have you in my most humble precence."

"you are never humble" muttered Yuki.

"you're too kind"

"it wasn't a compliment!"

"and Hatsuharu nice to have you too" he smiled.

"Yuki needs to ask you something" Haru was still smirking.

Aya pushed Yuki into a seat, "oh why didn't you ask right away, silly boy always distracted"

"I'm not the one distracting here!" yelled Yuki.

Haru coughed. Yuki took a nice deep breath.

"So what is it then? Is it something to do with women and romance?" Aya asked brightly

"I need to know about 'girl things'" Yuki replied simply.

"uh, well Yuki like I said as long as it's legal…still that a rather abstract thing even for one so open minded as me and imagine the mess" Aya pulled a face.

Yuki barely contained his rage, "no, I need to know what it means, that's whats wrong with Tohru but I don't understand it" he said through clenched teeth.

"oh…" Mine put a tray of tea down carefully, "little broither doesn't know?" she looked at Aya.

"dear me, of course not. Mother being who she is and Akito being who he is…hmmm…for once I belive I am not the right person to tell you. Oh I know you should hear this from a doctor!" he stood emboldened with the new prospect to disturb not only his brother but Hatori too, "let us be off. Mine the shop is yours for today I havce important brother business!"

"aye aye captain. Good luck little broither" she waved as Ayame dragged him out the door.

Once again at the SOhma compound Ayame didn't even knock before bursting into Hatori's surgery, "Ha-saaaaaaaaaan!" he called out not looking, "We have important business for you!"

Hatori coughed and now the three (you think Haru is gonna miss the amusement?) of them realised that Hatori was actually giving Akito a check up with Kureno looking on concerned.

"How dare you interrupt us" Akito gave them the death glare.

"oh…but Akito this is most important. Tell them most loved of all my little brothers!" aya insisted. At this point Hatori looks like he is contemplating suicde instead of going on with all of them in the room.

"I am your only little brother!" growled Yuki.

"just tell them!"

Yuki sighed again, "would someone just explain to me what the hell is worng with Tohru?"

Akito grinned maniacally, "oh do tell"

"she's out of sorts…she yelled at me for no reason and then she yelled at Kyo but then burst into tears…"

Akito looked sympathetic, "poor thing"

"huh? You know what 'girl thing' means?" he looked pretty desperate again.

"stupid boy" Akito cackled.

Hatori whispered, "remember the words 'Oh god I'm dying, it won't stop!'?"

"actually consider this the one time I don't want to see you afterwards, come Kureno" Akito swaggered out of the room.

"what a dumb kid…" Kureno muttered as he followed.

Yuki looked dumbfound then looked from Hatori, to Haru, to Aya then shrugged, "ya know what I don't think I care"

"sit down" ordered Hatori as he pulled out a book, "this is gonna be a long talk. It starts with how women are different from men…"

Shigure, Kyo, Kagura, Momiji, Hiro, Kisa, Rin, Akito and Kureno were all peering in the window giggling at Yuki's face as Hatori went through everything…and I mean EVERYTHING that Yuki needed to know (and some he probably didn't need to know, supplied by the ever indulgent Ayame).

"uh, what are we laughing at?" came Tohru's voice from behind them. They all turned looking scared, Shigure actually screamed.

"uh…hiya Tohru" Mimiji said shakily, "how are you?"

"you'd like to know that wouldn't you?" yelled Tohru.

"bale" muttered Akito and the rest baled on her leaving only Shigure and Kyo to deal with her.

"why did they leave me? oh know I offended them!" she sobbed.

"I've got an idea!" Kyo smiled, "Shigure walk Tohru home and I'll go shopping and make you dinner tonight!"

"would you really? Would you get me…chocolate…lots and lots of chocolate?' she asked through her tears.

"of course" he beamed, "see you soon!"

"he heh, thanks Kyo, here let me give you some money" Shigure leaned close, "oh god I can't take this do you have her friends number?"

"um…yeah at Masters house"

"It's time for reinforcements, brief them on the situation and get them over fast" Shigure came away grinning, "shall we?"

"just don't touch me ok?" snapped Tohru storming off ahead. Shigure followed looking a might pathetic.

"I think that's all" said Hatori putting his big book away, "any moire questions?"

"uh…no." Yuki managed to say.

"that was fun wasn't it little bro? some real bonding. Well I better be off, I would walk you home but I prefer to stay away from war zones!"

"eh? You're going to ditch me now?!"

Ayame laughed, "of course I am. You see Yuki you have two options when it comes to women. First one is learning to deal with it and bowing to their every whim and giving up all happiness for a week. The second is the one I chose, to find the perfect woman who does not make us suffer PMS"

"don't you mean 'who suffers PMS'?"

"ha! They don't suffer we do! Yup my little Mine is absolutely perfect. Later!" Aya swept out of the room, leaving a totally confused, embarrassed and helpless Yuki behind.

"Can't I stay with you Hatori? I'm even considering staying with Akito ra5ther then going home!" Yuki lamented.

"now now" Hatori lead the boy to the door, "I expected you to be a little more considerate. Hasn't she stuck by you all despite your other uglier sides?"

"This is WAY uglier then even Kyos true form!"

Hatori shook his head, "if she's still like this in a few days perhaps you should send him around here."

"Come on, I'll walk you home. Tohru can't be half as bad as Rin." Haru volunteered.

"ah so is that what's wrong with Rin?"

"no, she's just a bitch"

"and Kagura?"

"a nut case"

"oh…"

Yuki literally dragged his feet all the way home. He and Haru sat at the table, where Shigure was cringing at the sound of pots being banged loudly around the kitchen.

"heh heh. I offered for Kyo to cook but she said that he'd just do it wrong. Then she started on about how men are a waste of space and I'm sure I heard a plan to eradicate them from the earth…" Shigure sweat dropped.

"You really should have thought about this before inviting her to stay Sensei." chuckled Haru.

"but she's usually normal!" he insisted.

"why didn't anyone ever warn me about this?" moaned Yuki.

He was stopped from going further when the door burst open and standing in it, surrounded by the fading light of the day was Uo and Hana (looking like super heros or something!)

"never fear mere males we are here to save to day!" announced Uo.

"now please step aside, this could get ugly" warned Hana.

"could?" yelled Kyo from behind them, "it's too late for that!"

"Thank you! Thank you!" Shigure was bowing at their feet, "oh mighty goddess' of the girlfriend come to save us from our mortal peril!"

"you obviously haven't spent a lot of time with women" Hana looked down at him.

"heh, thanks novelist dude, now outta our way!" Uo charged forward Hana behind her. The noises stopped in the kitchen…they heard footsteps upstairs…and silence…no yelling…no sobbing…silence. All males breathed a sigh of relief.

"what took you so damn long!" Shigure reprimanded Kyo as quietly as he could so as to avoid another death threat from above.

"don't blame me they said we had to go to the pharmacist first" he complained sitting.

"what for?" asked Yuki innocently.

"eh?" Kyo glared, "I didn't ask dammit and I don't wanna know! That's why they always have the damn non see through bags you stupid rodent!"

"For once Kyo I'm not going to argue with you" admitted Yuki.

Kyo actually started laughing, "so the pampered rat finally found out about the facts of life?"

"the birds and the bees are such a delicate subject we thought it not our place" Shigure took on his older, wiser adult look but lost it to giggles after only a few moments.

Uo stuck her head around the corner, "I'd call in a pizza, Tohru is erm…unavailable for the night."

The guys shivered as the tried to ignore wondering just what the girls were up to.

The next morning it was too cold inside, too hot outside and it was a school day. It really was just a a horrible time to be alive. Yuki managed to drag himself downstairs, each step feeling like a condemned mans. He gasped when he saw Tohru and wondered briefly if he could run before she saw him.

"Oh Good morning Yuki! Oh you're ties crooked again!" she laughed and straightened it, "quickly before you miss breakfast!"

He wandered a bit bewildered to the breakfast table where Kyo, Shigure, Hana and Uo were all tucking in.

"Morning prince" Uo greeted, her mouth full.

"uh…" Yuki sat, "Tohru is…back to normal?"

Hana looked as though in deep thought, "normal? Hmm, as normal as one can get when one is-"

"no!" Kyo interrupted her, "don't finish that! A man doesn't need to hear anything while he's eating"

"pfft, you're no man Kyo!" shigure shoved him.

"shuddup!"

Tohru swanned in and joined them. Yuki looked nervously at her and tried, as hard as he could to forget everything he'd learned, except of course the most important lesson. Some things are better left unknown.

AN: weird? It's defiantly the weirdest thing I've written! I was just thinking 'Tohru can't be perfect all the time? After all she is a woman! All women (Well most) are anything but perfect for at least one day when…well you know! I also drew inspiration from stories my family tells, apparently I'm a bit scary . She is REALLY scary!!! (sobs) Lol. Hope you enjoyed.


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